Help After Miscarriage: Time Doesn't Always Heal

I’ve heard it said that time heals. I suppose it does. But not always right away. In the months following a miscarriage it might seem to the outsider that much time has passed, therefore healing is inevitable. Each passing month for me has brought its own set of challenges. In some ways, I have healed a lot. But in others, the time has only intensified the sadness. I don’t cry nearly as much as I used to, but there are days that I just can’t shake the sadness—the sad reality that I thought I would be feeling a kicking baby by now.

One of the helpful things for me has been my friends letting me know they are still here. They haven’t moved on. They are still praying. And they still remember.

Part of the reason that time isn’t always the great healer is that time moves so quickly. It moves when we can’t seem to move any faster. There were days where I just wanted to go back to the few moments of pregnancy and take it all in—but I can’t. Time has moved on.

Because time moves on it makes you realize what you don’t have. The holidays/milestones can be a sad time of remembering what things were supposed to be like. Time represents shattered hopes and dreams—especially when time takes you to the anticipated due date.

So in this final post on help after a miscarriage, know that time doesn’t always heal as it moves. Sometimes it stings badly. Your friend will be blessed and encouraged by you not moving with the time, but instead remembering with her, stopping with her, and crying with her—even after all this time.