We went in for our first ultrasound on August 29, and to say that I was nervous would be a huge understatement. There is something about having a previous pregnancy loss that makes all of the tests less exciting for me. While I had no indicator that something could (or would) be wrong, meaning that I still had pregnancy symptoms, I just couldn't shake the previous memory in my head. The memory of having an ultrasound that revealed a baby who had stopped growing, not a baby with a heartbeat. The Lord really met me in my fear, but I wasn't exactly elated to go in for the ultrasound that morning.
Thankfully we didn't have to wait that long. The ultrasound tech made small talk with us on our way back to the room. One of the questions she asked is if this was our first baby. Usually I say "yes" only because I don't think people want (or need) all the details of our miscarriage. But this time, I thought it was helpful to let her know that it was not our first pregnancy and that I was nervous about this ultrasound. She didn't really respond to my answer, which I don't think meant anything. But it did make me even more nervous. Daniel said later that he was thinking "oh great, just what we need, an insensitive ultrasound tech." But as the morning went on she quickly became our favorite ultrasound tech.
As she started the ultrasound we couldn't see anything yet (they displayed the ultrasound on a big television in front of us). And she wasn't saying anything. Which were the longest few seconds of our lives! Then she smiled, which I interpreted as "the baby is fine." Boy, was I mistaken! Then she said:
"Do you want to see the heartbeat?"
And then we saw the most beautiful thing we have ever seen, our little baby. Immediately I was overwhelmed with emotion. I don't cry very easily, but I could not help tearing up when I saw our little jelly bean. And then in the midst of all my motherly joy came the other exciting piece of information from our beloved ultrasound tech:
"And there is the other heartbeat."
What?!?! Immediately, being the brilliant person that I am, I asked:
"Why are there two heartbeats?"
In all of my reading about pregnancy I had never once read about a baby having two heartbeats on the first ultrasound. I was seriously thinking that maybe baby's have two heartbeats at first or that you can see them from two parts of the ultrasound. And that, my friends, is why I do not have a career in medicine. So then she explained to me (because Daniel had already realized what was going on):
"That's because you have twins."
I have replayed that statement over and over in my head the last two weeks. We have twins. When we went in for the ultrasound we were just hoping for one healthy baby, but to have the added blessing of two just put us over the happiness edge! I literally screamed when she gave us the news. And I must say, she was really good at telling us. We kept praising her for her skill at revealing our twins to us. She probably thought I was crazy because I couldn't stop screaming and talking, which is what I do when I'm really excited (think my engagement video, if you have seen it). I'm pretty sure I replayed the entire pregnancy up to that point to our ultrasound tech because I was just so excited. I literally can't make my mouth stop when I get like that!
As I have struggled with fear throughout this pregnancy I felt like the Lord was reminding me in that moment that he delights in giving good gifts to his children. And these sweet babies are such a precious gift.
Part of the reason we were shocked with the news was because I thought I would be throwing up all of the time with twins. And while I feel pretty bad most of the time, I just thought I would feel worse. But again, I have nothing to really compare it to, so what do I know about how I am supposed to feel!
The Rundown on the Twins and Momma
- Right now they look like they are in the same sac. But my doctor said that this could change. Early ultrasounds (I was 8 weeks 5 days at the first ultrasound) sometimes miss the dividing membrane that would put them in separate sacs.
- If they are in the same sac they are identical. The biggest prayer request we have right now is that they not share a placenta. That can make it more risky for them. Will you pray that the Lord keeps them safe regardless of their placenta situation?
- I was not on any fertility drugs at the time we got pregnant. I actually haven't been on fertility drugs for over a year. That is what makes it even more amazing. Every pregnancy is from the Lord, but this just causes us to rejoice in his kind provision even more. He has truly done great things!
- They looked healthy and had great heartbeats (174 bpm). I will have an ultrasound every time I go to the doctor and will start seeing a high risk doctor as well around 16 weeks. He will monitor their growth more closely.
- Here is a random fact. This is the second set of twins in my immediate family. My brother and his wife have twins (a boy and a girl) and twins do run in my family (my maternal great aunt and great uncle are twins).
Thank you so much for sharing in our joy and for praying for us. We are so excited and at times can hardly believe it's happening!