A couple of years ago a girl I knew faced a period of tremendous heartache with miscarriage, infertility, and the late pregnancy loss of her baby girl. As she commented on her period of grief she remarked that it was really hard for her when people told her that she must be a strong person to be able to handle such loss. For her, the feelings she felt in the aftermath of her losses were anything but strong. She felt weak, vulnerable, and overwhelmed by the pressure that as a strong person she should face this trial with her head held high, when she really just wanted to crumble up in a ball and cry in the corner.
Something to Cling To
"In the darkest night of the soul, Christians have something to hang onto that Job never knew. We know Christ crucified. Christians have learned that when there seems to be no other evidence of God's love, they cannot escape the cross. 'He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he now also, along with him, graciously give us all things?'" (Romans 8:32)
Creation Glorifies God
Rarely do I stop and marvel at God’s creation. When I drive around I’m usually focused on where I’m going or what I want to do next. When I run all I can think about is how much longer I have to run. I go from my car to the apartment without ever taking in the beauty of the world around me. I’ve never been one to be super aware of nature, and growing up in a big city only heightened my ignorance to it all. Skyscrapers and concrete have a way of sidelining the beauty of green trees and flowers.
Nothing is Impossible with God
I'm chaperoning the junior class ski trip for the school I teach for next week, and so the last few days have been filled with lesson prep for a substitute, organizing, catching up, and all around craziness. Next week, I am having my classes watch a sermon by John Piper on the subject of abortion. As I was reading the sermon this afternoon this section stood out to me. If you are wrestling through infertility (or any suffering), I hope it encourages you like it did me.
Something To Look Forward To
Show Me the Miracles
Our pastors have been preaching through Mark for the last few weeks, and in an effort to get the most out of the study, they have encouraged us to read along in the Gospel of Mark. My husband often says that it’s good to never stray far from studying Jesus. He’s right. And every time I read the Gospel accounts I’m reminded of how right he really is. Jesus never ceases to amaze me. And the fact that he walked this earth, died a sinner’s death, defeated sin by rising again, and left us with accounts of his work so we can love him more never ceases to amaze me. This time has been no different.
My Weakness Has Meaning
The ultimate purpose of God in our weakness is to glorify the kind of power that moved Christ to the cross and kept him there until the work of love was done. Paul said that Christ crucified was foolishness to the Greeks, a stumbling block to the Jews, but to those who are called it is the power of God and the wisdom of God (1 Cor. 1:23f).
The Fellowship of His Sufferings
My name is Courtney. It's nice to meet you.
I have been doing this little blog for nearly 4 years now. Crazy! A lot has happened from 2007 to 2012, and the blog has been there for it all. I have been on two mission trips. I confessed to being a recovering feminist. I moved to Louisville to attend seminary. I met my amazing husband and got married. I struggled through learning how to be a wife. My grandpa passed away during our first year of marriage. I miscarried shortly after our one year wedding anniversary. Daniel graduated from seminary. We moved to Little Rock to plant a church. And now, we are walking through infertility. It has been a wild, crazy, fun, and sorrowful ride.
Don't Waste Your Infertility
It’s been a few months since we received the hard news that our struggle with infertility would require more treatment before we are able to proceed with trying to get pregnant. Few things feel worse than waking up from surgery and hearing the words, “it was worse than the doctor thought, you will need more treatment.” I went into surgery hopeful and came out feeling like I had been punched in the stomach (physically and emotionally). This is not how we planned it to be. This is hardly what we wanted. And this diagnosis only prolonged, and solidified, that we weren’t just a couple who was having a hard time getting pregnant again. We were infertile, at least for the time being.