One of the fears that has plagued me since we lost our baby is that I would somehow forget that we had a baby. It’s hard to keep the memory going in your mind when the only piece of remembrance you have is a picture of a positive pregnancy test. Last Wednesday, before I miscarried, the doctor ordered an ultrasound. At that time, the baby was still there (though much smaller than he or she was supposed to be). All we could see was a small image that looked like a pea. But it was the cutest pea I have ever seen, and an image I have tried to burn into my memory. I thought about asking for a copy of the pictures, but I was too emotional and overwhelmed to comprehend much of what was going on.
Our First Baby
Two years ago I was diagnosed with something called endometriosis. While this condition can cause infertility, my doctor was optimistic that, with treatment, getting pregnant would not be a problem. So you can imagine the excitement we felt when on the morning of July 27 we saw the little blue line that told us we were pregnant!
Holding on to Promises
Friday is for Fotos
Missions Wednesday: Iran
Every morning, before I leave for work, I grab my massive ESV Study Bible and spend time reading God’s word. If I am traveling, I take my smaller Bible. If a friend is staying with us and needs a Bible, I grab one of the many of the shelf. We have a plethora of Bibles in our home. And if a new one is released, we can run to the local Christian bookstore to grab one of the latest “stylish” Bibles. Bibles are everywhere. They are an accessory, even.
Friday is for Fotos (and a bday tribute to my mom!)
July 23 was always an important day in my family growing up. But so were five other seemingly random days. July 23 is my mom’s birthday, and even though the rest of the world was doing their own thing on this summer day, the Tarter’s were celebrating. And we did this for every family member’s birthday. Birthday’s were (and still are) a big deal for us. It marks a beginning that will forever be etched in the mind of the one who gave birth to us. It’s a special day that no one else in the family can claim as their own (unless you are a twin of course!).
Missions Wednesday: Philippines
It has been said that there are more slaves in the world today than all of the slaves combined during the trans-Atlantic slave trade. I suppose the argument could be made that there are more people in the world today than there were 250 years ago. But that doesn’t change the issue. People are in chains. People made in God’s image. People who are just like you and me, robbed of their freedom, dignity, and often times purity.
Elyse Fitzpatrick on Modesty
Elyse Fitzpatrick has a great post on The Gospel Coalition blog on modesty. Summer usually means a lot of talk on modesty, and her piece is an excellent reminder and heart check for all of us as we look at our closests and our motives behind our outfits. In her post, "Gentle Jesus, Meek and....Modest?" she links modesty to the character of Jesus. Jesus was modest, she says. Defining modesty as "a refusal to show off out of love for God and one's neighbor. Jesus refused to show off his power." And he could of. In a heartbeat. Instead he exercised restraint so that the plan of salvation could be accomplished for you and me.
Biblical Truth on Motherhood from Jani Ortlund
I love reading (and listening to) anything by Jani Ortlund. She is a gift to many women through her biblical wisdom. She loves serving women and helping them love their husbands and children, just as Titus 2 commands her to. She also delights in serving her own husband and now grown children. God has shaped her and equipped her to be a model, which is why I was so excited to read her article in the 9Marks E-Journal this past weekend. The article came out a few weeks ago but I didn't have time to sit down and read it, so I saved it for this past Saturday. I was so blessed. The article is titled: "For the Young Mother: Ministry Guilt and Seasons of Life." And it is worth the read.
Friday is for Fotos
The top picture is from a family reunion we went to in Ohio. Daniel's mom's side of the family had a reunion and it was great meeting many of them for the first time! I learned so much about his family history, but unfortunately it was information overload and I can barely remember any of it. We got to put our names on the family tree, attaching ourselves to the Rower history.
The bottom picture is from my Grandpa's memorial service in March. This is his entire side of the family (my mom's family). It was the first time we had all been together in years and it was a neat time of remembering Grandpa, but also remember all of our times together as family.
Often we can get so busy with the present that we forget the people who have come before us. There was a time when they were my age, busy with marriage and life. But now they are either gone or aging. They have stories that matter. They have memories that mean something to them. And we can't forget them. Their life is the reason we are here. We are a part of them. For both Daniel and me it is through these families that we heard the Gospel.
I'm so glad I have these pictures. I want our kids (Lord willing) to someday see the people who have come before them and know that they are a part of these families too.
But I also want us to understand that if we are in Christ we are part of an even bigger family, with many saints who have gone before us. This family is not bound by genes, but by the blood of Another, Jesus Christ.