"If you live inside this massive promise [Romans 8:28], your life is more solid and stable than Mount Everest. Nothing can blow you over when you are inside the walls of Romans 8:28. Outside Romans 8:28 all is confusion and anxiety and fear and uncertainty. Outside the promise of all-encompassing future grace there are straw houses of drugs and alcohol and numbing TV and dozens of futile diversions. There are slat walls and tin roofs of fragile investment strategies and fleeting insurance coverage and trivial retirement plans. There are cardboard fortifications of deadbolt locks and alarm systems and antiballistic missiles. Outside are a thousand substitutes for Romans 8:28.
Letter from a Grieving Mother
My Sweet Baby,
This is not how I thought my first Mother’s Day would be. I had hoped to be holding you and dressing you for church this morning. But I'm not. Instead my arms ache to hold you this side of heaven. I know you don’t weep for me. You are with our Savior, King Jesus. I can’t help but smile thinking that when I worship the Savior this morning at church, I’m joining in a heavenly song already going on. One that you are a part of.
Finding Your Home on Mother's Day
In all of your pain and sorrow you desperately want God to hear your prayer and comfort you in this dark season. Mother’s Day can be a stark reminder that there is a deep longing in your soul for a baby you long to hold, either in heaven or yet to be formed. And when you cry out to the Lord it seems like he isn’t there either.
April is Sexual Assualt Awareness Month
Even though we are more than halfway through the month of April, I think it's worth mentioning that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I actually didn't know that until this year, so I'm not sure how long it has been held this month. Regardless of my past ignorance, it's an important issue to raise awareness about. Sexual assault is a horrible and demeaning form of violence against men and women. And while it is reprehensible, it should be talked about in our churches and in our communities. Silence doesn't make it go away. It only isolates the victim further.
Nine Months Later
Nine months ago I became a mother. Our due date came and went with very little fanfare. We woke up late, cried, talked, and then rejoiced as we watched two couples join in marriage. In some ways it was a nice way to end a very sad day for us. It was good to be reminded of what we committed to nearly two years ago. It was good to worship with friends who were starting their lives together.
Seeing God in My Pain
Luke 6 and a Coming Blessing
Your Pain is My Pain
Even after all this time the sadness over losing our baby has come in waves. Sometimes I go weeks, and even a month or two, without crying over our loss. Other times the tears won’t stop. Grief and longing have a way of creeping up on you when you least expect them. There are different triggers to my sadness, and sometimes the greatest one is seeing a father with his children.
All My Longings Are Before You
What is your longing today? Maybe you are looking for a job and nothing is materializing. Maybe you have been trying to have children for months, or even years, and every month is a sad reminder that those dreams are not being realized. Or maybe you are hoping to be married someday and God has not brought that desired person along.
Help After Miscarriage: Time Doesn't Always Heal
I’ve heard it said that time heals. I suppose it does. But not always right away. In the months following a miscarriage it might seem to the outsider that much time has passed, therefore healing is inevitable. Each passing month for me has brought its own set of challenges. In some ways, I have healed a lot. But in others, the time has only intensified the sadness. I don’t cry nearly as much as I used to, but there are days that I just can’t shake the sadness—the sad reality that I thought I would be feeling a kicking baby by now.